Green Tragedy: Car Vlog

RETURN of the Thrifted Haul

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PARK AVE Thrifting with Piranha

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Loosing Myself

My mother went on to be with the Lord about 4 years ago and my father only about 5 months ago. Let’s just say there is a major void left or so I thought. Nothing compares to having your own parents however I thank God for awesome believers in my life who have held me up in my time of bereavement.  I have an awesome support system. I thank God for those who have listened to me vent, scream, cry and complain which seems like to me an endless amount of time.  I finally feel like I am coming out on the other side………

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in living day to day and operating in the world that we forget that we are not of it! Although we are flesh we are spirit beings having a worldly experience. We are a part of a bigger picture that is such a big deal. It is about kingdom and winning souls, healing the hurting, spreading the good news and so much more. Now I will speak for myself in saying that I often get sidetracked by the things of this world and what my goals, dreams and aspirations are versus what my concentration should be which is walking out the will of God in my everyday life and being an example of his goodness in the earth.

Somewhere along the way I lost myself!! I have been very concerned with working hard for what appears to be material gain.  Inadvertently with the loss of my parents, in order to cope with extreme grief, I buried myself in going harder after my goals and achieving and attaining more.   I wanted a house 3 children an amazing salaried job with a cushy title and a luxury vehicle. I wanted to travel the world and explore life freely and have notoriety.  This has been my dream since I was 11 or 12.  I have been more than blessed in my life, but what I have found as that I wasn’t content! Operating out of my own will to get my needs met (which if you didn’t know is sin) not praying as much as I should and always chasing after more. Sure I was tithing, sure I was praying for others but not living to my fullest potential in Christ Jesus.

I am far from a perfect creature I recognize that I have been in my own way? Have you? In my quest to be a go-getter I forgot to honor the one who gave me all I have.  I have noticed that I have been immensely blessed in so many areas but may have missed the opportunity to thank and praise God for what he had already done for looking for what he had yet to do! So today I choose to loose myself again but for the right reason… to decrease myself and increase more of the father.

Erase the Scar

Erase the Scar 

Once upon a time there you were happy and whole, set free and living your life with a purpose and on purpose! Somewhere life got tricky and you got tripped up, people hurt you, and life didn’t turn out the way you planned.  You prayed about it, picked up the pieces and moved on with your life or so you thought.

The pains of  life often times leave us with scars. At times these scars are seemingly invisible. They lay beneath the surface covered up by I’m ok,  it’s alright, and hallelujah anyhow… until something  triggers that past hurt and that scar that was seemingly invisible is now visible for all to see.  Your emotional , your easily offended, your angry, you cry  or fly off the handle for no particular reason at all…. there it  is your scar, for the world to see.

Take the plunge and erase the scar! Life is filled with challenges and ups and downs.  Don’t let them make you bitter or harden your heart.  Half the battle understands who you are and whose you are. Recognize that you are valuable, to God these life hiccups are a part of your bigger picture. It is shaping you and molding you for your destiny.  Take your time to heal and process. Don’t rush the process, overcoming challenges can be trying.  Take the time to discover the root of the problem, look within do a self check. Self discovery is important to your journey, always look to improve and be your best self.

There is no manual for this thing called life. Be gentle with yourself. Life is a journey, a journey of growing and learning. Heal so that you can be a help to others, there is no time limitation on that. Look at ever challenge as either a blessin or a Lesson that happens to you for a reason or a season.You are not perfect but you  will always be at your best when you are striving to be like the one who is.

What's in your Rearview? The Freedom of Letting GO

 

So here it is 2016 and I am still trying to figure out where 2015 went. Honestly 2013-2015 has been a bit of a sh*t storm for lack of a better term.  However a midst of all the toils and snares I am still here and still standing clothed in my right mind (for the most part) so God must really have something important in store for me. They say that he will never put more on you than you can bare, well I tell you the insurmountable amount of trials that I have faced over the last few years have been seemingly unbearable and overwhelming to say the least.  I’ve loved I’ve lost and I have gained a lot of wisdom in the process. So what’s in my rear view this year you ask? The answer? almost everything!

I now have no parents as I buried my Father the week of Christmas. I thought to myself well what now? What do you do? Where do you go? Through the process of my father’s illness I toiled with a myriad of emotions questioning God and his timing and why this was happening to me again and so soon.  Asking God why am I experiencing trial after trial. What I have learned is this. There are very few things in life that are certain… and one thing you should know for sure is that death is. It doesn’t matter your socioeconomic status, religion, or any other demographic… as sure as you live you too will die. Now this is not to sound extra emo or be a Debbie downer but let’s face it, it’s the truth!

Upon arriving at this obvious conclusion “only death is certain” an amount of peace and freedom washed over my being. Know this… not a job, nor career, woman or man, relationship or friendship, money or health is a guarantee! However there is freedom in that, the positive to that is that if you have health and wealth, friends and family that love you and you have all that you need and maybe even some of the things you want… you are blessed beyond measure.

I hate to make New Year’s resolutions but I will certainly make life changes! If there is anything that death has taught me … is the power of letting go. When you have suffered major loss you recognize that “things” just aren’t as important So this year as we have transitioned into 2016 here are something’s I am letting go…..

1)      TOXIC PEOPLE! (hey you don’t like me and that’s ok… Bye Felicia)

2)      Unnecessary spending (making it rain in a thrift store near you)

3)      Stuff  (I am a pack rat… there I said it)

4)       Negative thinking and worry (anxiety you gotta go)

Going forward I will …..

1)      Work  Harder on building my brand

2)      Try and eat better and exercise more

3)      Prioritize people who love me most

4)      Vacation more