Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Pressure to Produce


Pressure to Produce


As I sip and enjoy my morning cup of coffee, I decided to write. I don’t write much anymore, not because I have lost a love for it, but maybe due to lack of time and discipline if I am being honest. Every year for maybe the last 10 years I have written a yearly recap called “What’s in your Rear-view”. This year I had every intention of doing the same but time escaped me, days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and now it is April and we are in a middle of a global crisis. For many of us the crisis is not just global it is within ourselves.  

I say all that I have said to say this, be gentle with yourself you are doing the best that you can with what you have. Although I have been fortunate enough to remain employed during the pandemic, I still feel the angst and some of the pressure that maybe many of you do to be over productive and take advantage of this time. I have noticed via social media that there is an extreme push to produce books, business, and blogs or just be extremely exceptional at something, when many of us are trying to navigate mental health and just stay sane and positive during this tumultuous time.

Don’t fake the funk! Don’t feel pressured to produce. If you managed to wake up be grateful that you did and manage the needs of yourself and your family that is just fine.  If you only use your gifts and talents as a creative outlet to help you to navigate through anxiety and depression through this time, there is nothing at all wrong with that. If you feel like sharing your creativity in the form of content, great! No Pressure.  Take time to reflect, recharge and ramp up! You got this!!  We have never lived through a global pandemic before and there is no manual on how to successfully navigate this! If your body needs rest, REST! The most important thing that this crisis should produce is a healthier more whole version of you.  When you show up as your most confident, healthy, healed and whole self the content (or whatever your thing is) will naturally flow from that.

We are in this together,
XOXO……. AYANNA   

Monday, January 14, 2019

What's in your Rearview 2018: Forward Only

Happy New Year !!!



Ok, I know I am beyond late, but such is my life at this point (giggles in overworked and underpaid). In the spirit of growing stretching and evolving I am trying to be a little easier on myself in reference to not meeting goals and deadlines. 2018 was a year of recovery for me. I found a bit of financial freedom, recovered my love of creating and gained more hope for a more positive future. I found that gratitude is a vehicle that will compel you into the future and help you to uncover your greatest self and in that I have adopted the philosophy of FORWARD ONLY.

I am not big on concrete new years resolutions but I do believe in self reflection and continuing to work on and improve yourself. I made 5 goals they are more of a focus to assist me in moving in the direction I know I am called to be in. I am going forward only I will handle today, today and deal with tomorrow then FORWARD ONLY. In gratitude I am looking at each day as a chance to begin again. So here are my top five to do's for the new year.

1) Be Intentional (about everything)
2) Don't be afraid to let go (of anything or anyone)
3) Mindful spending
4) Produce Creatively
5) Life Experiences vs. Stuff

I hope that you are setting goals, and remaining hopeful for your future. I pray that this year brings you to the greatest happiest version of yourself... Remember Forward only!!



Monday, January 8, 2018

What's in your rearview 2017: Start, Stop and Continue

Happy New Year!!!


2017 has provided a number of lessons in love and life and although the pruning was painful I am thankful for the progress. Now we all know by now that I don't exactly do New Year resolutions but I am always in a perpetual state of self improvement. 2017 was a year of  rebuilding and reclaiming my time! So this year my "What's in your rearview" will look a lot more like a START, STOP and CONTINUE. What is that? Well I am glad you asked if you have never used this as a work/relationship or therapeutic tool it is what behaviors, patterns or things will I choice to stop... start... or continue. So here it is

In 2018 I will ...

START

Praying more often and journaling. I will start to prioritize myself, and self care. Often times in our quest to love and support people we loose sight of what we want and need and slow down on achieving and or setting personal goals. This year I will make an concerted effort to not only push to achieve more just for me but also say NO more... to others and yes to myself. Being consistent is the key. Consistency with better eating habits and working out so that I am always bikini ready lol which leads me to TRAVEL. Traveling more (perhaps solo travel) is always a goal  and saving more money is also high priority because lets face it without the coins you cant travel.

 STOP

Stop unnecessary spending ... in order to travel more achieve some of the other goals I have for myself I will need to be more intentional in regard to my spending habits. I have found that emotional spending leads to the clutter and my earnest prayer is to minimize and clear the clutter in my life mentally, physically and spiritually. In clearing that space I will stop holding on to negative memories, people, behaviors and or attitudes.  I will make every effort to stop comparing myself to others.... this to me is also a form of self care. God is in control not my will ... not my time but his.... my journey may not look like everyone else's but I need to stay the course, just because it may take more time for the things I have prayed about to materialize doesn't mean that God didn't hear me!

CONTINUE

I will continue the grind. I will continue to create content from a happy place. I will continue to support those who support me. I will continue to make positive strides toward being my best self and always look for opportunities to show gratitude. My mother used to always say... Good, better, best, never let it rest, until your good is better and your better is your best! Keep Pushing Forward!!

Love Always

Patrice Ayanna

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

An Attitude of Gratitude

An Attitude of Gratitude 

Life is filled with so much transition. Daily there are ups and downs and the path does not seem as clear as maybe it once was ,but there is hope.  Well, at least I have hope 😊
I am truly beginning to see how much power we have in our words and with our thoughts. Yes God is our creator and governs our lives but he gives us free will and choices.  We can choose to be happy we can choose to be set free or we can continue to be a hamster on a wheel running an endless circle of self-doubt and toxicity. We have a choice and today and every day I choose life.

In life there a number of things that are beyond our control and situations may be difficult but we have the power to change things for the better even if it takes what seems like a lifetime. You can make small changes to your everyday just by taking your thoughts captive and choosing to think positively and see the good in the situation. If you cannot see the blessing in something look for the lesson I assure you there always is one .

I personally have spent the better part of 2-3 years so angry and filled with anxiety over things that I can not change. What I can do is take the lesson from each situation that seemingly tried to break me and move forward to conquer fear and  doubt and live my best life. I found myself rather frustrated with finances and career issues but these are all things that I have the power to change. Where should we start? PRAYER and meditation! Don’t worry this is not just my advise to you but also is a note to self  😊 My plan is to make gratitude my attitude!

In life I am learning that your attitude determines your altitude with a lot. Although I consider myself to be a positive person and I try to be a light to others I went through and am coming out of some very dark circumstances. I am Alive! I am clothes in my right mind, employed and I am not hungry... and for that I am thankful. Give your hurt and disappointment over to the Lord (release that negative energy) pray and plan… YOU CAN DO IT!!! The only thing hindering you from being the best you….. is YOU! Join me this August as I determine everyday to make gratitude my attitude!


Love Always


Ayanna Piranha


Saturday, January 7, 2017

What's In your Rear-view 2016

What's In Your Rearview


Welp here we are in 2017. We made it through to the other side. For some 2016 was a year of increase ... balance and peace for me on the other hand 2016 was a ugly, rude , cantankerous and petty B*TCH!!! I am glad she has found her some business and moved on !!

I buried my father, went through a bad break up, 3 job changes a move, and at least 3 "friendships" lost! Although I strive to remain a positive happy creator this year was rough. Life will always remain a lesson or a blessing... this year was filled with many of both.

2016 transitioning into 2017 to me is more of a whose in your rear-view versus what. However I resolve to move forward with positive vibes. I wont do the  new year resolution thing because that is just not my style as you all know. There are a few people places and things that I am leaving in 2016 GLADLY!


The List of let Go is as follows............

ANYTHING or ANYONE TOXIC ....... adios Felicana

No GMO no Lame-O... people will not support you will talk about you laugh at you and will just run all over you and drain thee entire HELL out of you if you let them! If someone missed the opportunity to love you correctly, support you and be there for you  in the first place take that as a sign that they do not value you, love them with the love of the Lord  and give them the gift of goodbye. Life is too short to be unhappy in a relationship, on a job  or just in general. Value yourself  enough to choose you!!

Good Bye financial distress..... This year has been filled with a special kind of BS on the job front... unfortunately in Atlanta  it can be about who you know and how well someone likes you if you keep or get a job. The obvious solution to that is the side hustle until you can work for yourself..... I am working on a business and building my brand in the new year..... much of my focus will be put here! Subscribe to my YouTube channel so I can get my check please and thanks ...lol

Hello New experiences ....... literally the world is your oyster we have access to so much all we have to do is inquire ... God willing this year will be filled with much more travel ! I want to make connections that will catapult me into the destiny I was meant to achieve.

As selfish as it may seem this will be a great year to focus on me and getting my self where I want and feel I need to be and he self improvement is never a bad thing. This year I will focus on me and rebuilding from the bottom to the top.  #ForwardOnly is  my motto for this year and its major moves only from now on #MMo_Life!


blooming effervescently in his glow.........

Patrice Ayanna




Monday, August 1, 2016

RETURN of the Thrifted Haul





Hey there check out my latest thrifted haul... subscribe to my blog and my youtube channel for more videos <3  PEACE COOKIES

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Loosing Myself

My mother went on to be with the Lord about 4 years ago and my father only about 5 months ago. Let’s just say there is a major void left or so I thought. Nothing compares to having your own parents however I thank God for awesome believers in my life who have held me up in my time of bereavement.  I have an awesome support system. I thank God for those who have listened to me vent, scream, cry and complain which seems like to me an endless amount of time.  I finally feel like I am coming out on the other side………

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in living day to day and operating in the world that we forget that we are not of it! Although we are flesh we are spirit beings having a worldly experience. We are a part of a bigger picture that is such a big deal. It is about kingdom and winning souls, healing the hurting, spreading the good news and so much more. Now I will speak for myself in saying that I often get sidetracked by the things of this world and what my goals, dreams and aspirations are versus what my concentration should be which is walking out the will of God in my everyday life and being an example of his goodness in the earth.

Somewhere along the way I lost myself!! I have been very concerned with working hard for what appears to be material gain.  Inadvertently with the loss of my parents, in order to cope with extreme grief, I buried myself in going harder after my goals and achieving and attaining more.   I wanted a house 3 children an amazing salaried job with a cushy title and a luxury vehicle. I wanted to travel the world and explore life freely and have notoriety.  This has been my dream since I was 11 or 12.  I have been more than blessed in my life, but what I have found as that I wasn’t content! Operating out of my own will to get my needs met (which if you didn’t know is sin) not praying as much as I should and always chasing after more. Sure I was tithing, sure I was praying for others but not living to my fullest potential in Christ Jesus.

I am far from a perfect creature I recognize that I have been in my own way? Have you? In my quest to be a go-getter I forgot to honor the one who gave me all I have.  I have noticed that I have been immensely blessed in so many areas but may have missed the opportunity to thank and praise God for what he had already done for looking for what he had yet to do! So today I choose to loose myself again but for the right reason… to decrease myself and increase more of the father.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Erase the Scar




Erase the Scar 


Once upon a time there you were happy and whole, set free and living your life with a purpose and on purpose! Somewhere life got tricky and you got tripped up, people hurt you, and life didn’t turn out the way you planned.  You prayed about it, picked up the pieces and moved on with your life or so you thought.

The pains of  life often times leave us with scars. At times these scars are seemingly invisible. They lay beneath the surface covered up by I’m ok,  it’s alright, and hallelujah anyhow… until something  triggers that past hurt and that scar that was seemingly invisible is now visible for all to see.  Your emotional , your easily offended, your angry, you cry  or fly off the handle for no particular reason at all…. there it  is your scar, for the world to see.

Take the plunge and erase the scar! Life is filled with challenges and ups and downs.  Don’t let them make you bitter or harden your heart.  Half the battle understands who you are and whose you are. Recognize that you are valuable, to God these life hiccups are a part of your bigger picture. It is shaping you and molding you for your destiny.  Take your time to heal and process. Don’t rush the process, overcoming challenges can be trying.  Take the time to discover the root of the problem, look within do a self check. Self discovery is important to your journey, always look to improve and be your best self.

There is no manual for this thing called life. Be gentle with yourself. Life is a journey, a journey of growing and learning. Heal so that you can be a help to others, there is no time limitation on that. Look at ever challenge as either a blessin or a Lesson that happens to you for a reason or a season.You are not perfect but you  will always be at your best when you are striving to be like the one who is.


Monday, January 4, 2016

What's in your Rearview? The Freedom of Letting GO



 
So here it is 2016 and I am still trying to figure out where 2015 went. Honestly 2013-2015 has been a bit of a sh*t storm for lack of a better term.  However a midst of all the toils and snares I am still here and still standing clothed in my right mind (for the most part) so God must really have something important in store for me. They say that he will never put more on you than you can bare, well I tell you the insurmountable amount of trials that I have faced over the last few years have been seemingly unbearable and overwhelming to say the least.  I’ve loved I’ve lost and I have gained a lot of wisdom in the process. So what’s in my rear view this year you ask? The answer? almost everything!
I now have no parents as I buried my Father the week of Christmas. I thought to myself well what now? What do you do? Where do you go? Through the process of my father’s illness I toiled with a myriad of emotions questioning God and his timing and why this was happening to me again and so soon.  Asking God why am I experiencing trial after trial. What I have learned is this. There are very few things in life that are certain… and one thing you should know for sure is that death is. It doesn’t matter your socioeconomic status, religion, or any other demographic… as sure as you live you too will die. Now this is not to sound extra emo or be a Debbie downer but let’s face it, it’s the truth!
Upon arriving at this obvious conclusion “only death is certain” an amount of peace and freedom washed over my being. Know this… not a job, nor career, woman or man, relationship or friendship, money or health is a guarantee! However there is freedom in that, the positive to that is that if you have health and wealth, friends and family that love you and you have all that you need and maybe even some of the things you want… you are blessed beyond measure.
I hate to make New Year’s resolutions but I will certainly make life changes! If there is anything that death has taught me … is the power of letting go. When you have suffered major loss you recognize that “things” just aren’t as important So this year as we have transitioned into 2016 here are something’s I am letting go…..
1)      TOXIC PEOPLE! (hey you don’t like me and that’s ok… Bye Felicia)
2)      Unnecessary spending (making it rain in a thrift store near you)
3)      Stuff  (I am a pack rat… there I said it)
4)       Negative thinking and worry (anxiety you gotta go)
Going forward I will …..
1)      Work  Harder on building my brand
2)      Try and eat better and exercise more
3)      Prioritize people who love me most
4)      Vacation more


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The Waiting God

 I am currently using the Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer app for sermons and devotionals... in my alone time with God I read this and it really touched my heart so I wanted to share. I hope you enjoy please share with others and download the app for yourself it's free.

 

The Waiting God

Joyce Meyer


And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for his victory].
—Isaiah 30:18
This verse has become one of my favorites, and it has often been a source of encouragement to me when I’ve had hard times. The Living Bible paraphrases the verse like this: “Yet the Lord still waits for you to come to him, so he can show you his love; he will conquer you to bless you, just as he said. For the Lord is faithful to his promises. Blessed are all those who wait for him to help them.” Let’s think of the implication of the promise. God waits for us. As I think of that promise, it staggers my mind. The Creator of the universe and the Giver of all life has chosen to wait for us—waits for us to come to our senses, waits for us to respond to His love, waits for us to turn to Him for help.
That’s a staggering thought. God wants to show us love.
Perhaps as much as anywhere else, Satan attempts to build a mental stronghold right there. When we contemplate God’s love for us, many of us can’t take it in. We can only think of our failures, our shortcomings, and dozens of other reasons why God shouldn’t love us.
That reminds me of a kind man I’ve known for many years. One day he took care of a situation for me that he didn’t have to. I was surprised and deeply touched. “You are probably the kindest man I know,” I told him.
He stared at me in shock. “Me? Kind? Oh, I can be mean-spirited and cruel,” he said. For several minutes, he explained to me that he couldn’t possibly be a kind man. “I live with myself all the time, and I see all my defects.”
“Maybe that’s the trouble,” I told him. “You see your defects so clearly, you don’t see your caring, compassionate qualities. You discount all those things.”
He never could accept that he was kind. I also used the word gentle and that surprised him, too.
Perhaps that’s how it is with many of God’s people. We are so absorbed by our failures and all the wrong things we see about ourselves, it’s hard to believe that God wants to bless us. If we read, “God wants to punish you,” we wouldn’t have trouble saying, “Yes, that’s what I deserve.”
But how would we answer if someone said, “God wants to bless you”? We probably would say, “I don’t deserve that.”
How many of us believe we are entitled to God’s blessings? We want the good things. We want God to love us, encourage us, bless us, and give us victory, but to say we deserve the blessings may be more than we are willing to accept.
Why do we struggle over the concept of deserving? Our tendency is to think that we have to do something to earn the blessings… that we have to be good enough or faithful enough. We miss the point of God’s powerful, gracious love. Our blessings from God are not a result of our goodness. They are the result of God’s goodness.
We are entitled to God’s blessings for only one reason: because we are His children. It’s just that simple. Those of us who are parents grasp that concept with regard to our children. We brought them into the world, and they deserve our love. We freely give them our love before they do anything good or bad. They deserve our protection and all the good things we choose to give them. They don’t deserve those things because they’ve done something to earn them, but simply because they are our children.
Satan loves to trip us up on this one. As soon as we think it is right for us to be blessed, he points to our weaknesses or our failures. God points to our relationship. That’s the difference.
Gracious and loving God, thank You for being willing to bless me. Even though the devil tries to make me feel undeserving, please remind me that I am Your child and You are my Father. My relationship to You makes me deserving, and I thank You for that in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Give Up!!


 GIVE UP!!!


Now I know this title may have you a bit confused but  hold on, I promise I am taking you somewhere with this. Allow me to be candid and maybe show you a side of Patrice that you are not familiar with. Allow me to introduce you to the imperfect creature God created for and with purpose. 

Hi my name is Patrice I like new things at times I can be an emotional shopper, I love God but I curse, at times like a sailor... I am a pack rat and sometimes I don't pay my bills on time however they always get paid. I have anxiety I worry about everything all the time..... I may be a bit of a perfectionist yet the queen of procrastination ...I always date the wrong men for me ( fix it Jesus) I hate to feel like I'm failing so I hold on to people, places and things longer than I should. There it all is....  because I GIVE UP!! 

There is something so freeing about the truth. I GIVE UP! I say that to say, you should give up to... The only manual we have to this thing called life is the bible. We are human flawed creatures yet beautiful because he created us in the likeness of his image. You should give up your idea of what you think your life should be... Let God have control let him govern you. 

Give up on peoples opinions and ideology concerning who they think and feel you should be. Be who Christ compels you to be and by all means be happy! Life ain't no crystal stare, honey and it is always throwing you curve balls. Know that it is OK to fail and not do everything perfect, I believe it is all a part of the process.

Give up but not on your dreams, but give up on what you thought the path or route to get there would look like. It is OK! I promise you it is!

Love ... Peace and the light of his Grace

Patrice Ayanna 


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Stay The Course




In 1994 Robert Zemeckis directed super star actor Tom Hanks in a movie called Forest Gump. The movie itself is a tale of love, loss and overcoming while defying the odds. The story chronicles the life of a young man who was seemingly at a disadvantage from by physical and maybe even mental challenges; the story is filled with quotes that seem to be so true about life.

One of the most famous lines from the movie was one where Forest pointed out to a stranger “Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!” Well Forest that is true in so many ways. I would motion to say that if life is like a box of chocolates then you are blessed because there are times when life is just not that sweet, but rather a bitter pill to swallow. It is true you never know what you’re going to get!

When life for you has been met with opposition and difficult times know that it is ok. If you are hurt disappointed, angry, depressed or feeling like you have really messed up know that it is all a part of the process. Often times we hold feelings inside or feel a sense of guilt attached to our feelings. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about whatever is going on in your life, but don’t get stuck there!! Own your feelings assess the situation and try to grow from your experiences and move forward.

Sometimes life isn’t all sunshine and roses but down fret! Hard times are often the precursor to better times and advancement. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can. At the time you may not have accomplished everything you set out to do, you may not have the house, the car, or the spouse you want, but if you take a look back over where you’ve been and what you have already accomplished you will see that you have so much to be thankful for. Stay the Course! The Best is yet to come!!

Friday, August 14, 2015

Turn Your Worry Into Worship



This Morning while scrolling through my Facebook feed I saw a meme that said "Turn your Worry into worship". I thought to myself, how powerful is that. As someone who suffers from anxiety and is learning how to manage I thought what a way to hand over all of that nervousness and anxious feelings over to God by turning your worry into worship. If you or I can find a place of praise in the midst of difficulties we can manage to turn that worry into worship. So simply in my quest to turn the negatives of life into positives that is my mission of the day.

I think that it is imperative that we begin to ask God for what we want. If we are seeking love joy peace and tranquility we must get into a place of praise and begin to ask the Lord for the things that we want and need. In that asking we must also trust that he will provide. I believe that he is waiting on us with arms open wide for us to spend that time with him. I believe that God is waiting with a YES, he is waiting to shift the atmosphere and move on your behalf.



Wednesday, August 12, 2015

His love is intentional, Never Failing



At times life can be increasingly difficult.  For me I have faced more difficulties and trials and tribulations within the last 3 years of my life than I feel like I ever have.  One thing is consistent... God is in control! I am sad at times, confused, hurt,  many times I don't understand his will for my life and  his plan but I know that he does everything well and that he is intentional. I know that even in this most difficult time  he is in the background working it out on my behalf.

In trying times when you feel you cant help yourself , help someone else. If you feel to weak to pray for yourself then maybe try and pray for someone else. Sometimes in our hurt and discomfort God is stretching and growing us. It is in this time that it is most important to focus on God and his purpose and his plan and if you don't know exactly what that looks like for your life.... it is most certainly time to seek that out. 

The word of God reminds us that all things work together for the good of them that Love the Lord. Your life has purpose! Your life has worth even if others around you don't see it. So in the midst of a break-up, sickness, family turmoil or even joblessness.. God has a plan for you and he loves you....If you have nothing else to hold on to hold on to that... know that he loves you and he cares. All things are working for your good ... he's intentional ....he's not a man that he may lie and he will never fail!

Be Encouraged

Patrice Ayanna <3