PARK AVE Thrifting with Piranha

4

Loosing Myself

My mother went on to be with the Lord about 4 years ago and my father only about 5 months ago. Let’s just say there is a major void left or so I thought. Nothing compares to having your own parents however I thank God for awesome believers in my life who have held me up in my time of bereavement.  I have an awesome support system. I thank God for those who have listened to me vent, scream, cry and complain which seems like to me an endless amount of time.  I finally feel like I am coming out on the other side………

I think that sometimes we get so caught up in living day to day and operating in the world that we forget that we are not of it! Although we are flesh we are spirit beings having a worldly experience. We are a part of a bigger picture that is such a big deal. It is about kingdom and winning souls, healing the hurting, spreading the good news and so much more. Now I will speak for myself in saying that I often get sidetracked by the things of this world and what my goals, dreams and aspirations are versus what my concentration should be which is walking out the will of God in my everyday life and being an example of his goodness in the earth.

Somewhere along the way I lost myself!! I have been very concerned with working hard for what appears to be material gain.  Inadvertently with the loss of my parents, in order to cope with extreme grief, I buried myself in going harder after my goals and achieving and attaining more.   I wanted a house 3 children an amazing salaried job with a cushy title and a luxury vehicle. I wanted to travel the world and explore life freely and have notoriety.  This has been my dream since I was 11 or 12.  I have been more than blessed in my life, but what I have found as that I wasn’t content! Operating out of my own will to get my needs met (which if you didn’t know is sin) not praying as much as I should and always chasing after more. Sure I was tithing, sure I was praying for others but not living to my fullest potential in Christ Jesus.

I am far from a perfect creature I recognize that I have been in my own way? Have you? In my quest to be a go-getter I forgot to honor the one who gave me all I have.  I have noticed that I have been immensely blessed in so many areas but may have missed the opportunity to thank and praise God for what he had already done for looking for what he had yet to do! So today I choose to loose myself again but for the right reason… to decrease myself and increase more of the father.

Erase the Scar

Erase the Scar 

Once upon a time there you were happy and whole, set free and living your life with a purpose and on purpose! Somewhere life got tricky and you got tripped up, people hurt you, and life didn’t turn out the way you planned.  You prayed about it, picked up the pieces and moved on with your life or so you thought.

The pains of  life often times leave us with scars. At times these scars are seemingly invisible. They lay beneath the surface covered up by I’m ok,  it’s alright, and hallelujah anyhow… until something  triggers that past hurt and that scar that was seemingly invisible is now visible for all to see.  Your emotional , your easily offended, your angry, you cry  or fly off the handle for no particular reason at all…. there it  is your scar, for the world to see.

Take the plunge and erase the scar! Life is filled with challenges and ups and downs.  Don’t let them make you bitter or harden your heart.  Half the battle understands who you are and whose you are. Recognize that you are valuable, to God these life hiccups are a part of your bigger picture. It is shaping you and molding you for your destiny.  Take your time to heal and process. Don’t rush the process, overcoming challenges can be trying.  Take the time to discover the root of the problem, look within do a self check. Self discovery is important to your journey, always look to improve and be your best self.

There is no manual for this thing called life. Be gentle with yourself. Life is a journey, a journey of growing and learning. Heal so that you can be a help to others, there is no time limitation on that. Look at ever challenge as either a blessin or a Lesson that happens to you for a reason or a season.You are not perfect but you  will always be at your best when you are striving to be like the one who is.

What's in your Rearview? The Freedom of Letting GO

 

So here it is 2016 and I am still trying to figure out where 2015 went. Honestly 2013-2015 has been a bit of a sh*t storm for lack of a better term.  However a midst of all the toils and snares I am still here and still standing clothed in my right mind (for the most part) so God must really have something important in store for me. They say that he will never put more on you than you can bare, well I tell you the insurmountable amount of trials that I have faced over the last few years have been seemingly unbearable and overwhelming to say the least.  I’ve loved I’ve lost and I have gained a lot of wisdom in the process. So what’s in my rear view this year you ask? The answer? almost everything!

I now have no parents as I buried my Father the week of Christmas. I thought to myself well what now? What do you do? Where do you go? Through the process of my father’s illness I toiled with a myriad of emotions questioning God and his timing and why this was happening to me again and so soon.  Asking God why am I experiencing trial after trial. What I have learned is this. There are very few things in life that are certain… and one thing you should know for sure is that death is. It doesn’t matter your socioeconomic status, religion, or any other demographic… as sure as you live you too will die. Now this is not to sound extra emo or be a Debbie downer but let’s face it, it’s the truth!

Upon arriving at this obvious conclusion “only death is certain” an amount of peace and freedom washed over my being. Know this… not a job, nor career, woman or man, relationship or friendship, money or health is a guarantee! However there is freedom in that, the positive to that is that if you have health and wealth, friends and family that love you and you have all that you need and maybe even some of the things you want… you are blessed beyond measure.

I hate to make New Year’s resolutions but I will certainly make life changes! If there is anything that death has taught me … is the power of letting go. When you have suffered major loss you recognize that “things” just aren’t as important So this year as we have transitioned into 2016 here are something’s I am letting go…..

1)      TOXIC PEOPLE! (hey you don’t like me and that’s ok… Bye Felicia)

2)      Unnecessary spending (making it rain in a thrift store near you)

3)      Stuff  (I am a pack rat… there I said it)

4)       Negative thinking and worry (anxiety you gotta go)

Going forward I will …..

1)      Work  Harder on building my brand

2)      Try and eat better and exercise more

3)      Prioritize people who love me most

4)      Vacation more

The Waiting God

 I am currently using the Enjoying Everyday Life with Joyce Meyer app for sermons and devotionals... in my alone time with God I read this and it really touched my heart so I wanted to share. I hope you enjoy please share with others and download the app for yourself it's free.

 

The Waiting God

Joyce Meyer

And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for his victory].
—Isaiah 30:18

This verse has become one of my favorites, and it has often been a source of encouragement to me when I’ve had hard times. The Living Bible paraphrases the verse like this: “Yet the Lord still waits for you to come to him, so he can show you his love; he will conquer you to bless you, just as he said. For the Lord is faithful to his promises. Blessed are all those who wait for him to help them.” Let’s think of the implication of the promise. God waits for us. As I think of that promise, it staggers my mind. The Creator of the universe and the Giver of all life has chosen to wait for us—waits for us to come to our senses, waits for us to respond to His love, waits for us to turn to Him for help.

That’s a staggering thought. God wants to show us love.

Perhaps as much as anywhere else, Satan attempts to build a mental stronghold right there. When we contemplate God’s love for us, many of us can’t take it in. We can only think of our failures, our shortcomings, and dozens of other reasons why God shouldn’t love us.

That reminds me of a kind man I’ve known for many years. One day he took care of a situation for me that he didn’t have to. I was surprised and deeply touched. “You are probably the kindest man I know,” I told him.

He stared at me in shock. “Me? Kind? Oh, I can be mean-spirited and cruel,” he said. For several minutes, he explained to me that he couldn’t possibly be a kind man. “I live with myself all the time, and I see all my defects.”

“Maybe that’s the trouble,” I told him. “You see your defects so clearly, you don’t see your caring, compassionate qualities. You discount all those things.”

He never could accept that he was kind. I also used the word gentle and that surprised him, too.

Perhaps that’s how it is with many of God’s people. We are so absorbed by our failures and all the wrong things we see about ourselves, it’s hard to believe that God wants to bless us. If we read, “God wants to punish you,” we wouldn’t have trouble saying, “Yes, that’s what I deserve.”

But how would we answer if someone said, “God wants to bless you”? We probably would say, “I don’t deserve that.”

How many of us believe we are entitled to God’s blessings? We want the good things. We want God to love us, encourage us, bless us, and give us victory, but to say we deserve the blessings may be more than we are willing to accept.

Why do we struggle over the concept of deserving? Our tendency is to think that we have to do something to earn the blessings… that we have to be good enough or faithful enough. We miss the point of God’s powerful, gracious love. Our blessings from God are not a result of our goodness. They are the result of God’s goodness.

We are entitled to God’s blessings for only one reason: because we are His children. It’s just that simple. Those of us who are parents grasp that concept with regard to our children. We brought them into the world, and they deserve our love. We freely give them our love before they do anything good or bad. They deserve our protection and all the good things we choose to give them. They don’t deserve those things because they’ve done something to earn them, but simply because they are our children.

Satan loves to trip us up on this one. As soon as we think it is right for us to be blessed, he points to our weaknesses or our failures. God points to our relationship. That’s the difference.

Gracious and loving God, thank You for being willing to bless me. Even though the devil tries to make me feel undeserving, please remind me that I am Your child and You are my Father. My relationship to You makes me deserving, and I thank You for that in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Give Up!!

 GIVE UP!!!

Now I know this title may have you a bit confused but  hold on, I promise I am taking you somewhere with this. Allow me to be candid and maybe show you a side of Patrice that you are not familiar with. Allow me to introduce you to the imperfect creature God created for and with purpose. 

Hi my name is Patrice I like new things at times I can be an emotional shopper, I love God but I curse, at times like a sailor... I am a pack rat and sometimes I don't pay my bills on time however they always get paid. I have anxiety I worry about everything all the time..... I may be a bit of a perfectionist yet the queen of procrastination ...I always date the wrong men for me ( fix it Jesus) I hate to feel like I'm failing so I hold on to people, places and things longer than I should. There it all is....  because I GIVE UP!! 

There is something so freeing about the truth. I GIVE UP! I say that to say, you should give up to... The only manual we have to this thing called life is the bible. We are human flawed creatures yet beautiful because he created us in the likeness of his image. You should give up your idea of what you think your life should be... Let God have control let him govern you. 

Give up on peoples opinions and ideology concerning who they think and feel you should be. Be who Christ compels you to be and by all means be happy! Life ain't no crystal stare, honey and it is always throwing you curve balls. Know that it is OK to fail and not do everything perfect, I believe it is all a part of the process.

Give up but not on your dreams, but give up on what you thought the path or route to get there would look like. It is OK! I promise you it is!

Love ... Peace and the light of his Grace

Patrice Ayanna 

Stay The Course

In 1994 Robert Zemeckis directed super star actor Tom Hanks in a movie called Forest Gump. The movie itself is a tale of love, loss and overcoming while defying the odds. The story chronicles the life of a young man who was seemingly at a disadvantage from by physical and maybe even mental challenges; the story is filled with quotes that seem to be so true about life.

One of the most famous lines from the movie was one where Forest pointed out to a stranger “Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!” Well Forest that is true in so many ways. I would motion to say that if life is like a box of chocolates then you are blessed because there are times when life is just not that sweet, but rather a bitter pill to swallow. It is true you never know what you’re going to get!

When life for you has been met with opposition and difficult times know that it is ok. If you are hurt disappointed, angry, depressed or feeling like you have really messed up know that it is all a part of the process. Often times we hold feelings inside or feel a sense of guilt attached to our feelings. You are allowed to feel the way you feel about whatever is going on in your life, but don’t get stuck there!! Own your feelings assess the situation and try to grow from your experiences and move forward.

Sometimes life isn’t all sunshine and roses but down fret! Hard times are often the precursor to better times and advancement. Be gentle with yourself you are doing the best you can. At the time you may not have accomplished everything you set out to do, you may not have the house, the car, or the spouse you want, but if you take a look back over where you’ve been and what you have already accomplished you will see that you have so much to be thankful for. Stay the Course! The Best is yet to come!!