It is a constantfight against self. Knowing that depression can be selfish at times. It is knowing that there are a myriad of things beyond your control. It is wanting to cry out for help and pray a prayer that avails much but only being able to mutter the word Jesus. What is “it” you say? In not so many words “it” is my battle with grief.
Often times I am fine. I don’t often cry. I can look at pictures of my departed loved ones and I am ok. I have happy memories. I certainly at times struggle with the “why”. Now before you go getting all extra saved or psychologically deep on me on I already know the answers to all of that, that is not what I am in search for. I know that God is no respecter of person and that people experience loss all the time.
I am looking for God’s provision in this time. What is God looking to show my family and I. Where are the lessons to be learned. However painful this situation is I am looking for the opportunity for growth and to better myself as well as advance the kingdom.
I am beyond overjoyed as the Lord saw fit to begin to restore my faith in people via this process. The outpour of love, hugs, prayers and encouragement and gifts was amazing. I am so very Thankful.
I know that there is plenty that I do not understand and maybe never will. There are always going to be shoulda, coulda,woulda’s , buta perfect God still uses imperfect people.
2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair.
I could say a lot but this scripture explains my life right now. Never in a million years would I have thought that my life would be where it is right now but this is my reality. I lost my mother and then a week later I lost my grandfather and there is now further trouble ahead. I am pressed on every side but I am not crushed I am certainly perplexed but not in despair. God is a keeper!
There is so much that I do not understand right now, but I am in expectancy of what God is going to do in this season. I am expecting him to do something better than good I am expecting the great. I am not going to give you some Holy Ghost filled testimony of how I am making it, it is but by the grace of God and it sure ain't easy.
I have now this increased since of relentlessness. I will, I have to, I must make it!! It is something about loosing someone so dear to you ... it toughens you up. If you are at the lowest of the low where can you go but up? I am fighting an up hill battle to stay positive and let the enemy know that he can NOT have my family.
God has deposited so many ideas into my sister and I that we would like pour out to bless others. After surviving all that we have in the past months we now realize that there absolutely nothing impossible for God to do and we are in relentless pursuit of his wholeness and pressing forward to bless his people and to live life to the fullest. Every day has not been easy and I know it will not be... I have had some good days, I have had some weary days and I will have some hills to climb... but I won't complain.
I am sorry that I have been away from you so long.... This degree is killing me. I have started vlogging please Visit my Youtube channel and subscribe. Invite someone to check out my blog I would really appreciate it. Check out the first instalment from my vlog Piranha's Peace entitled "Attitudes" Peace Cookies :)
So as you should already know I kinda Love Emily King... I think she is pretty dope... she makes me want to get back into instruments and such (stay tuned for that)! anyway I am subscribed to her channel on YouTube and she recently uploaded a new song and that is right folks it is dope!! have a listen for yourself!
Natural Girls Rock recently celebrated their anniversary. I was one of the many naturals in attendance there rocking it out. Here are some pics and footage. Hope you enjoy :)
Hey everyone Please Check out The write up NGA Radio did. Please share me with a friend. If you just happen to be in the neighborhood swinging by this here blog... why not subscribe :)
Here is a bit of encouragement to you today. Stick and stay! Stick with God and stay the course that he has you on. You may not always be able to see where the path is leading you but trust that you are on the correct one. God may be in the process of bring you out or you may be on the verge of going through to get too. TRUST IN HIM! No matter the situation he is working all things together for your good. Don't put God in a box believe him for bigger and better and then bless someone else. YOU CAN DO IT! He has created you for such a time as this. Worship him with a smile on your face even when it is difficult, he will grant you peace and blessings and add no sorrow to it :) God Bless You!
Hello Lovely’s I know that I have not been as active with my writings to you but I came to drop a little encouragement in your lap. In 2012 let us be about the business of doing what we are passionate about and what helps others. If you have this Kingdom mindset you are sure to be both successful and fulfilled. Goal setting is an immensely important behavior when moving from passion to profit, so read, believe and receive.
Read- Read books that help you develop the mindset of a winner. Read books by authors who are successful in the area that you want to obtain knowledge. You may want to read books on real estate, investing, building a start up business, finance, tips for healthy living or even the Bible (I suggest you start here).
Believe – Believe in your talents and abilities. Work hard, set goals and benchmarks to achieving your goals. Believe that you have the power to reach higher and move forward. See it and achieve it. Imagine yourself in the place that you want to be and set goals and take the necessary steps to get there.
Receive- Receive your blessing when it comes and pay it forward. Remember to be humble and thankful and always remain teachable. Also do not be afraid to receive criticism as it comes with the territory. Take what you can learn the lessons you were meant to learn in that season… head up and chest out and keep moving forward.
2012 is going to be a great year for you. I believe it. Encourage someone today because they may be your encouragement tomorrow. There is a little encouragement for your pocket, keep the change ;) its free <3
Here is some more music I am feeling check out this group they are pretty dope :) Be sure to visit me on YouTube (AyannaPiranha), share me with a friend and follow me on twitter @AyannaPiranha1.
A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending Natural Girls Rock. An event motivating and celebrating naturals. I had an excellent time and met a lot of wonderful people. Visit my YouTube Channel and follow me on Twitter for more updates. Enjoy the video below. For more information please visit http://www.naturalgirlsrock.com/ .
So my cousin featured this song on one of her YouTube videos and I loved it. I am in love with music featuring dramatic instrumentals. I love this song and am feeling this artist her entire EP is pretty dope... Check her out!
God is Truly and utterly amazing. 2011 was filled with a world wind of ups and downs. I thank God that there were more ups than downs. God saw fit to inspire me to write and complete two books and start another two. In 2011, I finally answered the call to ministry and began attending Luther Rice Seminary and University for Biblical Counseling. I started a blog and a YouTube channel. God really and truly is awesome. The year brought about the entry and exit of a lot of people, places and things. 2011 was a year filled with transition and change but God made provision for me to do it gracefully and with ease.
Moving forward I am insanely excited about how God is moving and what he plans to do for 2012. I feel that 2012 is going to be an amazing year of innumerable blessings and breakthrough, more importantly I pray that God moves me into a position where I can be a major blessing to the life of others. With that being said there are somethings that I will be choosing to take with me and some things I will be leaving behind…. Let the Rant begin :)
Leaving 2011
In 2012 I will not prioritize those who do not prioritize me, friends or otherwise.I will not invest love time and energy prioritizing people who see me as an option. Love and appreciation should not only be expressed through text messages and social media. Do you remember the art of having a conversation and getting to know someone… yea ummm hmmm try getting back to that!
Self worth is more than important. Believe that you are worth the time of day. Believe what the word of God has to say about you. Surround yourself with light and truth. Surround yourself with people who are like minded and want to see you succeed If it is not building you up it is tearing you down.
That leads me to my next point….
In 2012 I will not give place to the enemy his workers of iniquity and any other such Tom foolery PERIOD!!
Haters, nay Sayers and fake people are REAL and they are everywhere. BEWARE!! Don’t be so quick to entertain catty gossip and foolishness, b/c surely you will become the source of it. Recognize who is for you and who is not and do not be sad when peoplefall away. God is in control. God sees the bigger picture and obviously these people are not a part of that plan. Recognize the difference between constructive criticism and destructive cynicism. You were created on purpose for a greater purpose and plan. Get to work on what it is that you know you were called to do.Immerse yourself with the word of God and all things positive and mute the world go full throttle toward your destiny!!!
Going into 2012….
Going into 2012 I will take with me all things positive believing in my greater purpose on this earth. I will seek to enhance the quality of the lives of others in my span. I will create and and use my talents to please the Lord and not just myself. I will remain teachable in a state of constant learning and trusting in God to open a myriad of windows and opportunities. I will seek to be patient, kind and understanding . Most importantly I will believe the report of the Lord as it pertains to me and fall deaf to any and everything else. No time for negativity family, friend, foe or otherwise. No time for complacency, procrastination is the tomb where opportunity is buried. No time for Christianity as a culture and religion but a concerted effort to the death to strive for holiness and an authentic relationship with my Lord and savior Jesus the Christ! What else is there? So I ask you...What’s in your rear view?
