God's Perfect Provision
It is a constant fight against self. Knowing that depression can be selfish at times. It is knowing that there are a myriad of things beyond your control. It is wanting to cry out for help and pray a prayer that avails much but only being able to mutter the word Jesus. What is “it” you say? In not so many words “it” is my battle with grief.
Often times I am fine. I don’t often cry. I can look at pictures of my departed loved ones and I am ok. I have happy memories. I certainly at times struggle with the “why”. Now before you go getting all extra saved or psychologically deep on me on I already know the answers to all of that, that is not what I am in search for. I know that God is no respecter of person and that people experience loss all the time.
I am looking for God’s provision in this time. What is God looking to show my family and I. Where are the lessons to be learned. However painful this situation is I am looking for the opportunity for growth and to better myself as well as advance the kingdom.
I am beyond overjoyed as the Lord saw fit to begin to restore my faith in people via this process. The outpour of love, hugs, prayers and encouragement and gifts was amazing. I am so very Thankful.
I know that there is plenty that I do not understand and maybe never will. There are always going to be shoulda, coulda, woulda’s , but a perfect God still uses imperfect people.
Patrice
Ayanna Piranha
